Confessions-- My fear of Commitment

So here's the thing with me, and honestly it might be a problem but I think too much and I read into stuff toooo much. Now yesterday i was browsing around the web just looking, nothing in particular but i was running into to alot of articles regarding commitment and relationships being broken. I don't know if it was just me or this might be the season of break up. Normally I take it as a sign but i didnt i just did alot of thinking.

Being a young women dating I have been given advice that I may question about keeping a man:
(This is from my observation, so don't get offended .. its my opinion)

Myth: A women should wait a certain period of time to have sex with a man.

My Truth: After observing alot of relationships including mine, I can personally say having a rule or time frame on sex with a man will never determine how long the relationship will last or if that man is indeed a good man. I've seen several women that had man wait and they still end up being crap, and I seen women that slept with a man after the first night and they been together for years with no problems. Moral of this story is as long as you are confident in yourself, then you should be able to do what you want. To avoid feelings after sex.. ladies here's a tip, Think like the man! Just get yours and be done.. sex is sex. At least you got yours and if he comes following behind let him but don't let it bother you on what his next move will be.

Myth: Woman should be independent in the relationship

My Truth: This is a definte problem for me growing up in a family full of independent thinking women.. Yes it is true that to be complete in the relationship you have to make sure you can be independent on your own. But no man likes to be in a relationship with a woman that likes to take control of every situation. Let him be the man! Its ok to help out, but alittle too much can hurt and that hoe on the side that's playing damsel in distress is going to stroke his ego.


Myth: The higher standards the better!

My Truth: Let me break it down like this... THERE IS NO PERFECT MAN!! I know alot of women perfect man list sounds like this: got a college degree, got his own crib, his own car, is at least 5'11, man of God, got a sense of humor, and has a big BLEEEP! Well NEW FLASH.. I seen it all, men w/ degrees living with their mama.. the dude that got his own crib, car, and dress nice his occupation is a drug dealer.. A christian man that has sex with alot of women and drinks at the club... every man has a flaw is my point.


I been dealing with commitment problems since my mother told me before she got married everything was beautiful but when he put that ring on that finger it was Ike and Tina Turner from there. I never thought so hard in my life about how I truly have this problem until now. Believe me I want to get married. I dreamed of being in a nice dress and saying "I Do" to the man I love. But it pulls me back everytime when I see how people can possibly change even if that man propose to you. There is no rule or tips or guide on how you can work on your own marriage... every marriage is different. I believe the one thing alot of people need to work on is themselves and their own relationships. Dealing with things on Facebook and with other family members and friends will not solve your problems, only you can! In my current relationship I will do my best to not let my fear of commitment get to me and let things flow. I hope one day I do get married and when I do i hope it last forever... or else i will kill that nigga!! lol

**Why the Jumpoff May Have It Better Than Wifey**

Please read this article its pretty deep. I mean i want to say " What the heck Wifey definetly got it better." But after reading this i had to *PAUSE* and be like WOW!! Check it out for yourself. Its pretty scary in a sense...


by TS Johnson

It seems like when it comes to famous men, their ladies and their jumpoffs – everyone acts like the jump offs are the problem. Somehow if he is your man then you’re the winner in the, “I Got Me a Baller,” sweepstakes. The reality of the situation is quite different. As far as I’m concerned, in the ongoing battle between The Wifey and The Jumpoff – the jump off is the winner, and here’s why:

1. I Have His Heart. Really? So what does having his heart mean exactly? He likes you a lot? He loves you? We know it doesn’t mean sexual fidelity. Does it mean he’ll be there for wifey if she’s sick? She’ll be there for him if he’s sick? What? Does it mean that it’s special when wifey gives him “head”? ’Cause let’s be real…she’s giving him head too. And here’s the thing…what makes wifey think he doesn’t like/love the jumpoff?

2. He Takes Care of Me. Okay…but to quote T.I. – It ain’t tricking if you got it. And anyone whose read any of Karrine Steffan’s books knows that ballers don’t mind dropping major cash on the other woman. So it doesn’t seem like wifey is getting a leg up on the jumpoff in this category either. Yes, if you’re married there are legal protections there (just look at what divorce is costing Tiger Woods)…but it doesn’t stop the jumpoff from getting broke off. And if she’s smart, any big ticket item she gets will be in her name. Legally the wife wouldn’t be able to touch said gifts if they ended up in divorce or upon his death. So you have Louis and she’s has Louis – seems like a draw to me. And if you’re just the girlfriend and not the wife…well…ask the Basketball Wives how well that’s worked out for them.

3. I”m the Mother of His Children. Ask Kim, P. Diddy’s ex, how well that’s worked out for her. Diddy’s jumpoff in Atlanta has his baby too and is getting fat checks as well. Nuff said.

4. Quality Time. So the wifey gets quality time? She goes on vacations and other expensive trips. Sure, but so does the jumpoff. Going back to the Jumpoff Bible…Steffans went on many an expensive trip and stayed in many an expensive hotel on somebody else’s man’s dime. My homeboy used to do marketing and PR for some of Miami’s top clubs and when D. Wade and Hoopz were dating he used to see them out and about….his wife was at home…pregnant…with his other son. And let’s not forget when T.I. was on the Mo’nique show Hoopz was sitting in the front row of the audience. Where was Tiny?

So I ask again: How is wifey the winner in all of this? The other woman is doing quite well. She’s getting money that could be spent on wifey and her kids. She’s getting time that could be spent with wifey and her kids. She’s getting sex that wifey could be getting.

And more often than not, the jumpoff doesn’t have to deal with him when he’s tired, sick, injured or what not. She gets all the good times while wifey gets everything else.

So really, what does wifey have that the jumpoff doesn’t have?

His heart?

Yeah.

Okay.

BrE Speaks--BGC Ep. 5

One of my guilty pleasure is Reality TV... but most of all BGC (BAD GIRLS CLUB)!! I know I'm not the only one that get the popcorn ready, turn off all communication (yes, even the kids have to be mute to watch this show every Tuesday nights).

Well after watching last nights episode I was thinking this is ENOUGH, I have to speak about this mess. Because it is definitely a mess!! Now we all know they are bad girls, but good grief i know they got to be tired of arguing and fighting cause I'm getting tired of hearing it! But I'm addicted and i will still stay tuned.

So here's to those who missed out last night, or want alittle recap of last night episode (Episode 5). I will give you THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE VERY UGLY!

THE GOOD:

The girls had there decent moment of togetherness, when they planed a trip to tour the famous Gator Park. Even though it might seem at peace, the girls still had some separation amongst each other.

THE BAD:

The new bad girl had a very warm welcome of ignorance... sweeeeeeet! The girls were very nice to ignore her and lock her out for awhile and then BOTTOMS UP..get the poor girl drunk on her own! But the good of it all is that Kayleigh found her match made in heaven, Kristen.


THE VERY UGLY

Can we say....How strange? I mean I know I'm not the only one that sees how desperate and disgusting Brandi is. You could tell since episode 3 that Brandi was starting an obsession with Leah. I really think that the producers need to watch her cause she just might rape Leah..lol! But most annoying about Brandi is that she blames alcohol on EVVVVVERYTHING. Like really, If you know from others that you are breaking every darn thing in the house while your drinking *hint* maybe next time don't drink to much or drink at all.. GROW UP! Ok I had my venting moment. Other than Brandi, these girls always run into trouble. Everywhere they go someone wants to beat their ass for some apparent reason, and the crazy thing is that those who fight with them, you will never see their faces (Knowing these ppl are acting an ass and starting stuff with girls is to get some kinda fame). I don't know how these bad girls can handle it!


But STAY TUNED to next week...