Confessions-- My fear of Commitment

So here's the thing with me, and honestly it might be a problem but I think too much and I read into stuff toooo much. Now yesterday i was browsing around the web just looking, nothing in particular but i was running into to alot of articles regarding commitment and relationships being broken. I don't know if it was just me or this might be the season of break up. Normally I take it as a sign but i didnt i just did alot of thinking.

Being a young women dating I have been given advice that I may question about keeping a man:
(This is from my observation, so don't get offended .. its my opinion)

Myth: A women should wait a certain period of time to have sex with a man.

My Truth: After observing alot of relationships including mine, I can personally say having a rule or time frame on sex with a man will never determine how long the relationship will last or if that man is indeed a good man. I've seen several women that had man wait and they still end up being crap, and I seen women that slept with a man after the first night and they been together for years with no problems. Moral of this story is as long as you are confident in yourself, then you should be able to do what you want. To avoid feelings after sex.. ladies here's a tip, Think like the man! Just get yours and be done.. sex is sex. At least you got yours and if he comes following behind let him but don't let it bother you on what his next move will be.

Myth: Woman should be independent in the relationship

My Truth: This is a definte problem for me growing up in a family full of independent thinking women.. Yes it is true that to be complete in the relationship you have to make sure you can be independent on your own. But no man likes to be in a relationship with a woman that likes to take control of every situation. Let him be the man! Its ok to help out, but alittle too much can hurt and that hoe on the side that's playing damsel in distress is going to stroke his ego.


Myth: The higher standards the better!

My Truth: Let me break it down like this... THERE IS NO PERFECT MAN!! I know alot of women perfect man list sounds like this: got a college degree, got his own crib, his own car, is at least 5'11, man of God, got a sense of humor, and has a big BLEEEP! Well NEW FLASH.. I seen it all, men w/ degrees living with their mama.. the dude that got his own crib, car, and dress nice his occupation is a drug dealer.. A christian man that has sex with alot of women and drinks at the club... every man has a flaw is my point.


I been dealing with commitment problems since my mother told me before she got married everything was beautiful but when he put that ring on that finger it was Ike and Tina Turner from there. I never thought so hard in my life about how I truly have this problem until now. Believe me I want to get married. I dreamed of being in a nice dress and saying "I Do" to the man I love. But it pulls me back everytime when I see how people can possibly change even if that man propose to you. There is no rule or tips or guide on how you can work on your own marriage... every marriage is different. I believe the one thing alot of people need to work on is themselves and their own relationships. Dealing with things on Facebook and with other family members and friends will not solve your problems, only you can! In my current relationship I will do my best to not let my fear of commitment get to me and let things flow. I hope one day I do get married and when I do i hope it last forever... or else i will kill that nigga!! lol